The Anonymous Law Firm Spoof
If you want a good laugh, you've got to visit the Anonymous Law Firm, which makes every marketing mistake you can imagine on their site. The home page proudly announces, "With clients, attorneys, values and traditions, the Firm holds a place of its own in most directories of legal enterprises."
The recruiting pitch to law students and laterals is, "Our recruiting efforts are focused on convincing individuals from top law schools to look no further than our firm for some of the most typical opportunities in the industry."
It's as if The Rodent wrote it, but it's by Henry Holt and Company.
Among the mock news items are, "June 1, 2006: Summer associate tragically killed in scavenger hunt accident," and "June 7, 2006: The Firm announced today that due to increased toner costs, the starting salary for first-year associates will be reduced by $18/year," and "May 26, 2006: Jim Watkins, a senior partner in the Tax department, finally overcame his recent intestinal blockage and passed a solid stool in the men's bathroom on the 33rd floor."
The Mission statement says what sets the firm apart is "Our People, Our Style, and Our Logo" and other hilarious blather. The "Offices" page features a photo of a dungeon.
The best section is "The Meaning of Life" in which the firm says it discovered its attrition rate is 80% per year. They launched a proprietary investigation, finding that, "the meaning of life is hard work, performed without rest and without complaint, for purposes often vague and unclear, in concert with people you neither trust nor respect. And that those who seek meaning elsewhere are simply misguided, and in line for a life of failure and disappointment."
The site is designed to promote a new book, Anonymous Lawyer by Jeremy Blachman, saying it is "A wickedly funny debut novel about a high-powered lawyer whose shockingly candid blog about life inside his firm threatens to destroy him."
